Todgers, Pussies, Breasts and angry old women ...

09/08 - 11/08

The weather looked set fair so once again I packed my stuff and headed for the coast! I set off well early and was stark bollock naked on the beach by 07:30. Once again I just lay there in the currant bun and did absolutely fuck all (apart from having a couple of small bottles of Hoegaarden). There were quite a few more women on the beach this time around which made a change from staring at saggy old arses and wrinkly todgers all day (not that I stare at those of course!). I stayed until just past midday and then made my way through the traffic jams down to Ramsgate and was outside The Belgian Cafe at just past 14:00 whereupon I indulged in a few pints of Hoegaarden.

Sunday night was interesting! The Belgian Cafe was pretty quiet up until about 23:45 whereupon it started to get pretty banged-out. I somehow managed to get myself squeezed into a corner on a long table by five of Thanet's finest females, the eldest being a self proclaimed 68!

I somehow knew that it would be an entertaining night when the old dear suddenly stood up out of her chair and proclaimed in the loudest, roughest voice ever heard 'I'll fuckin 'av the black cunt' ... referring to some earlier fracas, followed by 'I'll fuckin 'av any cunt in here'. She looked like a female version of Lenny McClean and I must admit that it's the first time that I've ever seen a 68 year old granny want to take on the whole pub! The remainder of the night saw drinks being spilt over the table at a rate of one every ten minutes, one of the other women trying to steal another guy's Guinness and plenty of very drunk people failing at trying to walk in a straight line!

Fortunately Monday was a much calmer day where I went to the local book shop and got myself a couple more books and sat outside The Belgian in the sun. The evening was strangely quiet (maybe most of last night's revellers were still banged-up in the local nick) so I managed to work my way through Gary Witshire's book 'Winning it Back'. Not a brilliant book, but interesting in parts.

On Tuesday I did my usual morning/midday session and read a bit more and twanged a guitar for a bit. I chatted to passers-by every now and then and even got chatting to one guy who suggested that we do a little jam session the next time that I'm down in Ramsgate. If you've ever heard me play then you know that wouldn't be a good idea! The seagulls would probably go fucking mental!

I had to be sensible in the evening so I refrained from any more alcohol as my body was showing signs of extreme alcohol abuse so I just strolled along the front and enjoyed the pleasentness of the evening ... how sophisticated!





12/08

+£90.12. A strange day where I started very poorly, didn't have many trades and then had 2 nice wins late on to put me in front for the day ...

13/08

+£222.93. A much better day today where I had a few more 'chunkier' wins which saw me cruise past the £200 barrier. I pretty much needed a day like that as I'm in the process of spunking all of my cash on days down on the coast and numerous beers!

14/08

+£91.27. Fuck all trades today so I was happy to make what I did ...

15/08

+£52.13. I was chugging along at a slow rate of knots and then had a pants evening doh!

16/08

It was the wife's birthday today so we all went out on the piss and had a great time!


17/08

-£8.86. Today I decided to lose £8, have an afternoon kip and then go out on the piss with the missus again!

18/08

+£99.34. My general lethargy over the summer has meant that I'm winning fuck all and spending loads ... and also getting fatter again! Must try harder ...

19/08

+£277.44. A much better day today.

Now as well as my in-running endeavours I've decided to give the pre-race trading another crack. I've started to go through Caan Berry's video package and I'm going to do the sensible thing and concentrate mainly one one style of trading. My main reason for concentrating on one style is that it can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of the day and start clicking buttons like a madman trying to convince yourself that you can click your way to success. Believe me, I've been there! It's like starting off with a pea shooter trying to nick a few pence here and there in order to build up a winning strategy and then something goes wrong and you're out with the Uzi 9mm trying to blast your way out of trouble!

I've had this before .. trading with £5 clicks in order to find my feet and find my way around and then all of a sudden a market goes against you! A wise man would quickly take the red and regroup. But oh no not me! I give the mouse a quick spray of WD40 and give it some of this ...

Before you know it you have hundreds in the market and some fucker is well happy as he scoops it all into his pot! Then, at the close of play you wonder what the fuck went wrong. If you happened to be pressing the mouse like a complete nutter (see above) then you can't even evaluate your day in order to try and deternine why you spunked all of your cash.

So it's one strategy for me, and that is trying to identify steady late moves (in the last 3 minutes before the off) and jumping aboard. Her's the reason why:

• if you look at the top 4 runners in the market for each race then you will normally see at least one of them go on a long, steady, slow move (in either direction) in the last few minutes before the start of the race. This will happen in nearly every race (just check it out). Now these types of move present the opportunity of a nice trade eh? The only problem is deciding which horse to trade and also which fucking direction it's going to move in! Work in progress ...
   
• like many people I have tried a scalping based approach and like many others I win a little, win a little, win a little and then lose a lot! I've seen Caan giving examples of scalping but fuck me you have to be as quick as lightening both in your noggin and on the speed of the mouse and to be honest I'm an old git with neither of these attributes!
   
• if I can master the swing type of trading and correctly identify moves then I can always scalp (albeit at a more leisurely pace) on top of my swing trade as the price moves in one direction? Trust me, this will be the only time that I'm praying for one direction ...

20/08

+£43.05. Not too sure why but it was a bit pants today ...

21/08

+£54.65. I had my grandkids in the house for most of the day today so the trading took a bit of a back seat as I nibbled at races here and there ...

So today's lesson learnt was 'don't try and trade meetings like Killarney and Wolves the same way in which you would trade races at the York Ebor meeting ... they just ain't the same!'



22/08

+£211.30. Saturday today ... check! 27 degrees on the beach ... check! Going to piss down for the next 5 days at least ... check. Sit indoors all day and trade the donkeys ... check! What a tosser eh?

Such was enthusiasm for cracking on with my pre-race shennanigans that I decided NOT to go to the beach today and instead sit indoors in the sweltering heat and watch the fucking donkeys again! Unfortunately it was one of those days where there seemed to be too much racing (not that I'm complainiing) but it definitely made it harder to get into a flow. I have to admit that I didn't pre-race trade that many races as I just didn't see any clear entry points. Additionally the hectic schedule meant that my IR activities left me with little time to get onboard for the subsequent race.

However, in the evening we only had 2 meetings so this was an ideal time to get stuck into the pre-race trading training. Unfortunately in one race I got involved way too early and a slow gradual move breezed past me as I sat motionless at my desk. The fortunate thing is that I immediately recognised my mistake and vowed never to do it again! In fact I regard the £5 lost in this race as money well spent. As I have said before, if you make a balls-up then at least make an effort to recognise why it happened!

So following that loss I had a much better feeling for the markets, and although I only won pennies I felt well happy that I was able to read a few moves and generally avoid making any silly mistakes again. One of my old trading colleagues from the exchange is also immersed in Caans package (titter ye not!) and we usually chat throughout the day on Skype. He has the IR game by the balls but is looking to supplement this with some pre-race skulduggery and seems to making a good fist of things.

So today's lesson learnt was 'don't get involved too early, but if you do then make sure that you have good ladder positions, good queue positions and know what to do when the money comes surging in your direction'




23/08

-£117.33. Pants Sunday! There I was chugging along and nicking a few quid here and there and then I had one of my most stupid trades ever and was actually lucky that I didn't lose more than £200! I suppose that I was feeling  a bit tired and my grandkids were over again so I probably wasn't concentrating as much as I should. Even after all of these years it's still relavtively easy to make a balls-up!

I have to admit that my pre-race effort was also lacklustre. It was only when I got to 17:20 that I realised that I was cream crackered and was glad that the racing was almost finished.

PS The reason that I felt tired was probably because I'e been a right lazy fucker over the last few weeks and haven't been to the gym for ages. In fact I've replaced gym and fitness work with eating shit loads of crap! So it's back to the gym for me tomorrow ...

And as for the trading ... try again tomorrow ...


So today's lesson learnt was 'don't trade when you have a birthday party going on right behind you and when you are a bit tired and maybe lacking in concentration as you'll lay something to lose a grand and find yourself scrambling about trying to get out of a very sticky position!'