Sunday, 24 April 2016

It's Fucking Nips Again!

It warms up a bit and it feels as if Summer is close and then it gets fucking nips again! To be honest I don't give a shit at the moment as I'm too busy in the gym busting my bollox trying to go sub 80kg. I think that I'm looking pretty sharp but everyone is telling me that I look ill and malnourished! With 7 days to the end of the month I'm currently at 81.8kg. So sub 80kg here I come and then I can re-assess where I need to be to achieve that super ripped physique.

This was me at the start of the year ....

If I can get pussy looking that fat then the Thanet girlies will be like flies around shit once I unveil my chiselled bod down on the coast!

So when I'm shredded and sooper tanned I'll look damn good bowling along the beach in a pair of these ...

I've had that urge to spend some cash and treat myself to a couple of small things so got myself some Nikes from good old Amazon. Unfortunately, unlike moneybags Caan, I can't yet afford holidays in the Bahamas etc!

As usual my house is looking like a pikeys caravan as my living room is full of clothes, kitchen cupboards and work surfaces, chairs, bikes, guitars, etc. I'm in the process of tidying up our small kitchen and after removing the old floor tiles the surface of the concrete base was all over the shop.

Luckily as I was busting my nuts on the cross trainer in the gym I heard on the radio that Wickes were doing 3 bags of cement for the price of 2, so off I went. While there I had a mooch about and spotted kitchen cabinets being sold for £9.99 each in the clearance section. Fuck me ... I bought four of them! All I need to do now is move the remainder of the shit (tall fridge, tall freezer, more cupboards, tumble dryer, etc) out of the kitchen so that I can lay a concrete base (as long as my cement mixer is still working). Watch this space for the fun and games that are about to ensue ...

The trading has been a bit hit and miss and that's probably down to the start of the flat season where it takes a while to get into the swing of things. It's particularly hard trying to trade the sprints as things change so quickly and quite often the camera angles on some tracks don't help either.


-£13.07. I had a relatively big loss early on where I nicked a few quid in the win market, switched to the place market late on and had over £300 on the third only to realise that the trainer had 2 runners in the race and some cunt had decided to switch the cap colours. I backed the blue hat close home only to find out that it was the other fucking horse! What a prick! I didn't feel too happy but surprisingly I didn't scream or shout (probably because I was too knackered from my gym and diet). I knew that I would get it back over some period of time so just continued as normal. Once I had got the loss to under £200 I felt slightly happier only to lose another £50 odd and go back to minus £220+. In the old Xchange days we would often equate this to swimming in the ocean and being swept out to sea by a big motherfucker wave. You then start to struggle against the tide and gradually make your way back to shore only to find that when you are almost there another fuck-off wave comes and sweeps you back out again!

I put my head down and plodded on and had a bit of luck in one of the Irish races and got the loss back to under £100 and from there it was a case of just chipping away @ Wolves, nicking a few quid here and there and jumping on the spinning bike in-between races.


-£18.20. Struggle Sunday!


+£316.61. Probably my busiest day of the year so far with 59 races traded. A nice steady day with minimal losses.

I was watching a few inspirational weight-loss videos on YouTube and realised that I could add a few things to my diet so I scooted off to Asda's and picked up the usual gear (chicken breasts, eggs, bananas, etc) but also bought some rice cakes, high bran cereal, lactose free milk, coconut milk and yogurt.

I'm currently down to 81.2 kg from 95.3kg at the start of the year. I'm going to go down to 78kg and then re-assess my diet and training program in order to retain weight and hopefully shed a little bit more bodyfat.

Pictures of me in my pants to follow shortly ....


+£256.00. I had a good steady start to the day but come the evening I had other things distracting me and also felt absolutely knackered. I didn't make much progress and actually quit and hit the sack ultra early.


+£95.71. A bit of a hit and miss day today with plenty of wins and losses.


+£210.25. I didn't make much progress in the early afternoon but then improved in the evening and managed to nick a few quid.

Saturday, 9 April 2016

My Name's Dave and I'm a Wagon Wheelaholic!

.... but I haven't had one for a week (round of applause!). However, I have now become a big fan of Weetabix and I am munching down dozens of the fuckers! I know that they are supposed to be relatively healthy (low sugar, high fibre, etc) but they are sooper high in calories and I'm chomping down four at a time and still coming back for more!

When you can get a pack of 72 for £4 in Asda the it's silly not to buy at least 2 packs, even if you already have a pack of 48 indoors!

Now in the last couple of weeks the Betfair live video service has been at an all-time low with either stuttering pictures, pics switching to ATR (which is as much use as a fucking chocolate teapot) or just not working at all. It can be real frustrating when you are trying to trade and the pictures are wank. In cases like this you just have to try and remain calm and even refrain from trading in-running when the service is so degraded. Add to this that the volume level on RUK HD for some strange reason is set for the hard of hearing, along with the fact that Lydia H seems to prattle on faster and faster these days it can be easy to go on tilt and I must admit that I have felt well tilty on 1 or 2 occasions over the last couple of weeks. So as mentioned above ... stay calm and don't get suckered into trading when you are not feeling level headed.


+£130.04. I had a good steady start to the day but faltered somewhat early evening. Sometimes I can feel knackered as the day progresses and it gets a bit harder to keep your concentration.


+£101.84. A poor start to the day today but I just put my head down and plodded on and just about made it into 3 figure territory.


+£3.03. I traded 45 races today but it was a right mixed bag of results. The only positive is that the more that you trade, the less of the thieving, robbing, cunting, piss take of a premium charge that BF can steal from your account each Wednesday.

We decided to have a much needed Spring cleanout in our gaff so I put one of my old bikes on eBay along with the wife's foldup bike. I said that I would buy her a proper mountain bike so started to have a little look around on the internet (as you do). Before long I was eyeing up a full suss bike for myself (although I already have one) and it looked like a bargain at around £1K. I decided to pop along to Lakeside and have a butchers and started in Evans as I really should be wearing a decent helmet. Unfortunately after trying on a few lids my hair became 'un-gelled' and I was left with a whispy mop of now pinkish hair on my crust! Now this was not funny, but luckily there was a Home Bargains store, so I shot in and purchased some hair gel for 99p. Now when I reached the till the woman rang it up and said 'That'l be £10.99 please'. I almost fell over and looked at her in astonishment. I was like 'What ... £10.99 .... eh!' when she came out with the classic line ... 'April Fool!'. Oh how the staff and customers found it so amusing, she did me like a kipper. The thing is that I would have gladly paid £10.99 as my barnet was all over the shop and scaring little children!


+£259.53. A much better day today. I only managed to trade 26 races but only had one small loss.

One of the kitchens was being refurbed where my missus works and they were about to chuck a perfectly good kitchen on the skip so we decided to do the right thing and take it apart and transport it home. It went quite well but we now have several kitchen units, work surfaces and a cooker sitting in our living room on top of all of the other crap that we are currently housing for each of my 4 kids.

We also took the opportunity to go back to Lakseside to test out bike sizes for the missus. Now she is a short arse with short legs that don't bend too well, so seeing her attempting to mount a tiny 16inch MTB in the shop was quite funny. It was even funnier when she couldn't get off the thing!

We ended up at Halfords where she tried a few junior bikes and we found a nice one that fitted her, so that was my treat.


As the weather looked OK we decided to bugger off to the coast for our first visit of the year (apart from New Years). The currant bun was out in the morning and we settled down outside for a few pints. It was sunny but the wind was slightly nips.

I had forgotten my shorts, which turned out to be quite lucky as when I woke up after our afternoon sleep my bugle, ears and forehead were a lovely shade of pink and my purple'ish hair had gone blonde in the sun!

As we hit The Belgian Bar in the evening for more fun and merriment Milos behind the bar exclaimed 'What the fuck is that on your head' when he cast his eyes on on my blonde locks (I've always had no hair on my head whenever I've been down there previously). Despite it being a Sunday night it got quite lively with one or two local guitarists belting out some tunes accompanied by some of Thanets finest drunken singers.

We pretty much just drunk beer for 2 days and had a great time. There was also a fantastic storm on the second night which at one point felt as if it was going to destroy the Travelodge but once the rain stopped it was good to stand outside for a bit and watch the storm over the coast and sea. I actually finished the night with a pot of tea instead of a Hoegaarden!


+£208.23. 26 trades and only one small loss which helped pay for some of our small break.

Sat outside The Belgian Bar in the morning with another pot of tea and it was very nice indeed, just sitting there in the warm sun. We did have a similar day last year, albeit in the height of Summer, where we had all of our stuff packed for the return journey but thought 'Fuck it let's book another B&B and stay for another day' ... that was good. Although we didn't go too mad on the beer front we still had quite a few and surprisingly I felt quite refreshed after 2 days on the piss .... must have been that tea!


+£58.41. A real skinny day today.


+£260.90. Only traded 23 races today but it was one of those days where some medium sized wins added up nicely at the close of play.


+£142.74. One of those up and down days today.


+£617.92. I traded 47 races today and it was one of those days where everything just fell into place and it seemed impossible to lose. If only all days were like this!


+£352.34. One of my most consistent days of trading today where I was picking up medium sized wins left, right and centre, which felt quite strange but very nice indeed.


-£38.55. I was chipping away on a most un-inspiring of Monday's when I made one of the most stupid bets that I've ever made and dumped over £100 in one race which put me behind on the day. Ho hum ...


+£58.36. Felt like a bit of a struggle today.

I've managed to get my weight down to 83.2 kg and my bodyfat reading of 24.8% (on my scales which are obviously crap at assessing bodyfat percentage because I must be closer to sub 15%) however that's down from 32.3% at the start of 2016 so I'm well happy. If I get to below 80kg by the end of the month then £50 goes to cancer research and if I don't then £100 goes to cancer research!

The sun finally made a long overdue appearance this morning and it fely well hot even though the temperature was probably only around the 15 degreee mark. I put my old La-Z-boy recliner in the garden and soaked up some rays for over an hour and bot it felt good! Roll on the summer and cycling and beering down by the coast.

Something like this which was one of my cycling efforts last year. Outside the Belgian Bar at 07:40 before catching the train to Whitstable and cycling back ...


+£103.84. A bit of a rollercoaster today ...


+£153.13. I had a good afternoon and was coasting along nicely but then I had a relatively poor early evening and gave some back doh!


-£155.96. Traded 58 races today and I was struggling from the off! Unlike one of my good previous days I found it impossible not to LOSE and I had bad trade upon bad trade. However, you're going to get bad days like this and loss limitation is key.


I was out on the piss today on 'The Major's' stag celebrations. There were a group of about 16 of us on a guided pub tour down around Leicester Square and it was a real crack. Started at 15:00 and I was safely home at around 22:0  being the sensible chap that I am!


+£304.09. I only traded 20 races today (Sunday) but managed 2 or 3 good medium sized wins which added up to a nice total and helped numb the pain of Friday losses.


-£22.10. I was chipping away on a typical boring Monday and then I ran into a few losing trades and ended up down on the day, which was frustrating to say the least. I did however go out for a beer (I took my own Bavaria 0% Wit Beers) to celebrate my brother-in-laws 60th birthday, so all was not lost.


+£53.19. Today was SO fucking frustrating!! As usual I started like a right wanker novice and was soon £150+ down and struggling. I then struck back with 2 lovely trades and then backed a short one in the place market and the cunt of a jockey didn't ride it out and it got done on the line doh! I fucking hate bent or completely useless/incompetent/thick jockeys. At the end of the day I had traded 49 races and felt as if I had been struggling in quicksand!


+£431.87. Traded 50 races today and had plenty of good trades and should really have won over a monkey but a few loose trades let me down late on in the day.


+£40.05. I spunked over £150 mid-afternoon on a horse that fell at the first fence and spent the remainder of the day and evening chipping away to finish slightly ahead.


+£394.13. Traded 57 races today and only had a few small losses here and there so it worked out quite well!